Gratitude and Remembering the Being Mode
I’ve decided to resurrect the blog. Much has happened since my last post: I’ve joined a thesis lab, moved into a new apartment with my two best friends in my program, and passed my qualifying exam. In the spirit of Thanksgiving I thought I’d crystallize some thoughts on gratitude.
What’s the point of having gratitude? At first it may seem that there is no point in having gratitude, as it doesn’t give the gratitude-haver anything. These days, gratitude seems hard to find. Thanksgiving is the only time of the year when we explicitly mention it, and even then its pretty nebulous. Why should we be grateful?
Gratitude fundamentally shifts your perspective. It is inherently other-centric and breaks us out of our typical mindset of striving and self-centeredness typified by the Western ethos. In John Vervaeke’s Awakening from the Meaning Crisis series, one of the topics he discusses is the dichotomy of the Having Mode versus the Being Mode. The Having Mode is propositional and self-centered. The Being Mode, in contrast, is perspectival and other-focused. The Having Mode is preoccupied with the future and things not yet obtained, whereas the Being Mode is actively engaged with the present. The Having Mode sees a world of objects to be manipulated, while the Being Mode sees an arena to engage with.
The Having Mode has its place, but modern culture in its Faustian hubris, has elevated it and cast aside the Being Mode. The result is that we are constantly running on the hedonic treadmill of dissatisfaction, running ever faster to keep existential dread at bay. The solution, Vervaeke explains, is to “remember the Being Mode.” One path by which we can remember the Being Mode is to practice gratitude. Actively engaging with gratitude forces you to stop striving for the next fleeting pleasure and instead take a step back to appreciate the things that already make your life worth living.
In the spirit of gratitude and Thanksgiving, one of the things I’m most thankful for this year is my roommates, Deus ex Vita and Credo quia absurdum est. I’m grateful we can push one another to live lives of strength and virtue. As iron sharpens iron, so one friend sharpens another.
Take time to dwell on your blessings.
